With regards to cultural differences, what would be a better place to look for than a home with multiracial and multicultural background? Even after living in Singapore for twenty three years, new cultural information never ceases to surprise me, and I never stop learning about the different cultures from the other ethnicities. It is also especially important here in Singapore, as we grow and work amongst people coming from different background, to be proficient in intercultural communication.
However, there are still times when intercultural differences arise, and sometimes it may even result into conflicts. I remember very clearly this lesson, that taught me that simply knowing the social behaviour of other cultures are not sufficient, one must understand the rationale behind the social actions in order to be more understanding; hence, being aware of what to do and what not to do.
It happened at a lunch not too long ago between members of a group project consisting of two other Chinese, myself and a Malay friend. I will call them C1, C2, and M. C1 and M had ordered malay food, while C2 and myself ordered some chinese food. While eating through halfway, C2 mentioned about how nice his food was, and offered to let us try some of it. C1 then proceeded to take some, and this was when I noticed the frown on M, and suddenly remembered something. I stopped C1, ask him to use C2’s utensils instead, and the two of them had a surprised look on their faces. M excused himself to the restroom at this awkward moment, and I told C1 that he was using utensils meant for halal food to take non-halal food, which is actually forbidden, as those utensils supposedly could not be used for halal food anymore.
The two of them then proceeded to look at me with disbelief, saying things like “sure or not?” and “it’s not that serious lah”. I knew that at the very least they knew about how Malays can only consume halal food, so I realised that they had not taken this extra bit of information seriously at all. I then told them that even if they do not understand the rationale behind it, they should at the very least have some respect to follow their custom. They then took what I said into consideration and differentiated the usage of the utensils.
I do have some dear Malay and Indian friends, so as much as I can I try to understand the reasons behind their particular social etiquette. To me, they are as interesting as your childhood bedtime stories and it allows me to understand my friends better as well (not that I am bragging!). Even in a culturally diverse country such as Singapore, there happens to be people who do not realise the importance of intercultural differences. I understand that at this stage of life some Singaporeans might be too used to being very casual with other ethnic friends, and there are usually no strict differences that will otherwise come between this friendliness. This is perhaps the reason why M chose to only frown and not voice out his being uncomfortable, as he understood that it may not be a necessity to cause a commotion. However, some of our other ethnic friends may still be very serious about their religious or cultural norms and we should try to understand and respect these differences.
I feel that perhaps many Singaporeans only know the social norms of our other ethnic friends, but do not understand the rationale behind them, hence also contributing to them not treating these differences seriously. Thus, to improve intercultural communication, we should take the effort to understand these social differences in addition to just knowing them.
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ReplyDeleteHi Alvin! Your sharing of inter-cultural difference is indeed very true and the incident you mentioned certainly do ring a bell in my previous encounters with my fellow Malay friends.
ReplyDeleteI think alot of tolerances and acommodation has to come in on top of understanding, especially in a multi-racial nation like Singapore. I certainly respect and appreciate how your Malay friend has handled the situation and also your prompt warning to your two chinese friends.
Understanding all the cultural, racial or religious differences may be a good long term solution. But meanwhile, I think Singaporeans have to practicse more awareness of the people, presence of the different cultures and habits and also the surrounding around them so that at all times, we can remind each other not to commit some unintentional mistakes and also not to commit those mistakes too as we deal with people of different races, religions or nationalities.
Yeap, guess that is all from me and a good post there to once again point out the little little things that Singaporeans can improve on to ensure a more harmonious environment for all of us =)
Hey, Alvin, happy to read your blog.There is a wide variety amony cultures in the world. Like you mentioned, we have schoolmates from all over the world with different races and beliefs. Without any doubt, there would be the same situation in the working environment. The attitude towards cultural differences becomes important. How to understand and deal with cultural diversity would affect your interpersonal relation. If your friends had known the malay culture, they would pay more attention to their behavior and such embarass would not happen.
ReplyDeleteBesides cultural belief and habbit, the difference of personal values is another essential issue in terms of cultural conflict. For example, in traditional Chinese culture, selfless dedication is an important value while the western culture’s value emphasizes self-centered consciousness and a strong sense of independence.
Moreover, we should realize that it may not only cause conflict but also make benefit if culturl differences is taken seriously. :)
Thanks for sharing:). Learn a lot from it.
Singaporeans generally do know what are the dos and don'ts but we sometimes forget or are uncertain. Perhaps we have to learn to be more thoughtful, more considerate and more careful when interacting with people of the other race and culture.
ReplyDeleteHi Alvin,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your intercultural encounters and I have reflected upon that too.
Globalisation has offered us many opportunities to interact with people of other cultures at home and abroad. I believe our sense of efficacy in interaction depends to a large degree upon our training, knowledge, and willingness to be open to other cultures. This is what I call the basic self- preparation for interaction.
I was pretty taken back by the behavior from your friends. Having stayed in Singapore for so long, there was no awareness on the Malay cultural habits. Yes I do agree with Zhiyan that we sometimes forget or are uncertain. However, the very least we can do is to clarify before executing any actions. Remembering the knowledge about other culture is also part of fostering intercultural communication. Thus, I believe there is no excuse in forgetting one's culture. It really goes to show a lack in one's sincerity and commitment to communicate.
But I must say that your friends are really lucky to have you as their friend. You are exhibiting the traits of a teacher that is to educate. And it takes a lot to educate well too. Well done my friend.
It is true that with singapore being multiracial and all, there are many customs we have to observe and take note of. While having to take note of specific practices and beliefs depending on which group of friends you hang out with, it can sometimes get confusing. However, the effort must be made in order to ensure harmonious interaction between the different ethnic groups. While we may not always know the rationale behind each practice (like C1 and C2), it is good to learn/educate others whenever the opportunity arises.
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